Endless skies

Winter...

It is the winter that inspires the creative mama.  The mama here is weary, so tired.  And, C was gone all week.  Which is probably why I planned several creative, intentional fun, things for the wild monkeys. 

But, this one was really fun to watch, so I'll give you a peak:

(Confession:  I bought these dried beans and lentils with the specific purpose of doing art, not eating.  Earth mama I am not.  But, can you imagine the cool collage one could make?)

We gathered all the trucks, especially the dump trucks to do some bean and lentil road building. You can see it was very serious work. 

There is something about loading and moving, then dumping that must appeal to the small boy mind.  Each different truck was loaded, and eventually bowls were added too, because filling things was so interesting. 

J was very interested in getting a big pile built, but he also understood more about having roads. 

Whether a function of age or of gender, when L arrived home, she went straight to sorting.  Isn't that funny?  

And, nearly an hour of entertainment with no fighting... oh the bliss. 

She is...

... hard to define. 

I've been mulling over how to explain what the past month with L has been like.  And, I am not sure if there is an apt metaphor for it. 

At the beginning of the month, she had a crisis of confidence.  Or, that's how I see it now.  She fainted in chapel, and drew a tremendous amount of attention, then became tremendously embarassed. 

Her teacher, her principal, her dad, and a friend who is a school psychologist and I have worked to re-build the scaffolding on her confidence.  It sounds simple put that way, but the school psychologist said that you don't know you are confident until you're not, and the first time it happens that you lose confidence, you don't yet have the tools for rebuilding. 

But, such tools are the ones L will need all her life. 

Oh, this parenting is tricky, so tricky. 

I never imagined the day that my girl would refuse to stay at school, insisting on coming home.  And, we let her because there was nothing else to do.   The girl who lives here loves school.  She wouldn't keep her head down and refuse to engage with classmates and teacher.  She wouldn't become ill and weep at the thought of having to go.  But, she did. 

We've worked it out slowly, with lots of patience (which you know isn't my gift).  We made it through the first chapel, with a lovey, with L practically crawling into my skin, with a plan discussed ahead, and without standing up a single time.  

Three weeks later, we still have a plan, but it is simpler. 

The joy about school is back, and this is big.  The chattering to and about friends is back.  

Still, out of the blue, she'll be intimidated by something she can't explain.  It happened on Tuesday.  We picked up our car pool friend, and we went on.  For some reason, whatever worried her passed. She had a fine day.  I was glad to have pushed her on out the door, even though it was hard. 

Oh, this tricky, tricky parenting. 

I wish I could hand her confidence like a gift-wrapped package.  But, it isn't that simple, at least in part because it is so formative to learn for yourself.  

eeek. 

Ready to be a big brother

E is preparing to be a big brother.  He has now taken over two differnt dolls.  Both are boys (and we just go with that).  Both are wearing baby clothes and diapers.  Both sleep with him.  Both are talked to, cared for, given pacifiers, share his blankets, and are included in his activities.  While we were watching a movie last night, he covered baby brother's eyes... because he was scared.  

It is sweet enough to make a mama cry, I tell you ;) 

Peanut butter and jelly

These boys... they go together like PB & J.  We wonder if they always will be like this. 

From the first minutes of the day when one says the other's name, and they start chattering, they enjoy each other's company.  I am glad they share a room, so I can overhear some of these early morning conversations ;)  

E will often repeat what J has just said, and J often leads the roly poly puppy, race the trucks around the house games they play.  I love how independent they are together, even though it is sometimes short-lived.  

And, a part of what's interesting about their relationship is that they are so different, even now, in personality.  Jonah likes to sit back, see the world, and determine a course.  Elijah bulls forward, usually making big, sweet eyes at people and charming them before they know what's hit them.  

I wonder how adding a brother will change their relationship with each other too.  But, what's peanut butter and jelly without the bread, right? ;)

If the outside snow isn't quite right...

Let us recommend this very cool snowman ;)  He's super easy to make! 

Part 2: Words flying in from afar

The other part of my birthday surprises was that Curtis gathered friends from all different parts of my life (no easy task, let me tell you!).  He wanted to leave people wide open about their approach, so (I think) he might have suggested, but generally let each creative person do their own thing. This is extremely cool too. 

So, the first photo is a sampling:  The top left is a type of card my friend Joan knows I love.  Next to it is a list of 40 things my friend Chris likes about me.  Whew.  I really admire the lists of 40, because that is ONE BIG NUMBER! 

The envelope says "Karnop-he, he", and it came with a package of items to entertain wild monkeys. An interesting array of stamps came too, and as I work out what I am doing, I am trying to decide about stamps, post marks, and far away places. 

The bottom two are cards with sentiments to make me cry.  One is from the family who adopted me in college and the other from Curtis. 

If you know creative, you know who made this ;)  And, what a bummer to not be living in Great Falls, as I bet she might have baked me a cake too, right? 

Another cool approach was post cards.  This is only a few of the ones I received. Notice how the top one even looks like January?  And, like the other cards, all the post cards contained a mix of funny, sentimental, and apt remarks about yours truly. 

My dad and my Aunt Jean (the MATH people) created alphabet-driven lists.  My dad's, as you can see, is in alphabetical order, but my Aunt's is an acronym of my first, middle, maiden and married names. Again, that's ambition! 

Rather than words, my brother provided illustrations.  He did not decode them for old-lady pregnant brains, but there are only a couple I am unsure of.  I'll decode for your entertainment, from top left:  Me plucking away the flowers and pods of my least favorite vegetable ever, sugar peas (the kind you eat in the pod).  My mom wondered what happened to her crop... Top right: Once, these mean boys threw eggs at me from the stands at a football game.  Bottom left... Saturday morning cartoons.  Bottom right... our three channel TV and loyalty to the Bison.   You get the idea. 

Laurel made this card for me.  Note my pink dress... that's wishful thinking ;) 

You can click this to make it bigger, but Curtis interviewed L, J and E, and these were some things they like about me.  It's funny in part because E almost always imitates L and J.  And, perhaps the amount of times baked goods appear is funny too.  Although that was a common trend, along with reading, making people go for crazy long walks, and teaching in the lists, long or short... 

Speaking of the lists, here is a selected few remarks.  tee hee hee. 

1. Your love of a well-timed Diet Coke (AB)

2. You just about wore out the CMR counseling department your first year teaching (CW)

3. J is for the joy she brings... in an acronymn from Aunt J

4. Your ability to remember events through rose-colored glasses (JD)

5. She is tough but fair- high expectations (EN)

6. Chai Tea and turtle bars... (JM)

7. You still awe me with your energy and enthusiam for life (JM)

8. You're older than me.  Hope your teeth do not fall out unexpectedly (MD)

9. She checks my grammar (CH)

10.  It's hard to believe you're 40... (CG)

That number 10, well, I include it because a good, funny friend posted on my Facebook that she didn't get me the card that said, "It's better to be 40 than pregnant!"  hah.

Does that make me a lottery winner then, if I am both?

So, now my challenge is to gather all this creativity into the beautiful book C picked out to hold it, along with photos and other memories.   

 

Of Surprises and Kitchen Tables

Christmas morning, Curtis handed me a box that said it was from our friends the B family.  It was a big box, and I wondered what on earth they'd give me since we don't usually exchange gifts. 

When I opened the box, I found packing peanuts, and a lego airplane.  And, I might have started to cry because Legos are many things, but they are not a gift to me.  Luckily C told me to keep looking. 

There, buried in the packing peanuts was an envelope containing the print outs for plane tickets for me to leave for Reagan National Airport on January 1.  Oh good heavens.  I was absolutely surprised. In the mass of Christmas morning action, I cried my surprised tears, and couldn't even get to asking C for details.  In retrospect, this is funny to me. 

Later, I realized that a truly stunning number of people had been keeping this big secret, for, well, months.  If you're one of them, I am impressed ;) 

While the big event of the visit was a combined shower for Attilla the Hunt and a birthday party for his old lady mama, the kitchen table parts of the time I spent in Virginia were such a good part.  You know how kitchen table visits are... You're really good friends, if you can just sit in the kitchen, help yourself, and talk about everything.  It's not the part most photographed, but those conversations are such food for the soul.  

These friends know how to throw a shower ;)  And, among them, J is the record-setter, having showered Jonah, Elijah, and this fourth baby.  Oh, it is good to return to where you have a history, in case you wondered.  I wished I could have brought Elijah, so our friends, who have loved him from the first and from afar could have met him... 

This is the beautiful lunch they prepared. Check out that fancy birthday cake.  And, those little cookies with the lemon curd filling, oooh, divine. 

In some super-sneaky way, the hostesses (and Curtis, perhaps?) found friends from all different parts of my life in Virginia.  It was so fun to catch up with South Arlington mom's, church friends, book club friends, and neighbors. 

This isn't a good photo of me, but you have to see the hilarious shirt M found for Attilla (heh, heh... that's not his real name, but we don't have anything else just now).  She joked, just about the time this photo was taken, that she and her husband debated changing the exclaimation mark to a question mark.  

(Did I ever have my eyes open?  Sigh)  But, for posterity, you can see that I am resting the sock monkey jack-in-the-box on Attilla, so he can hear "Pop Goes the Weasel", and when the sock monkey popped out, the words say, "Surprise, it's a car seat."  

Because that is the item we needed most in order for baby to come home.  

And, unphotographed, but hopefully I'll show you soon, the birthday prize is a really beautiful garnet (which is the January birthstone) necklace. 

Except for Enid, who had to slip away, these were the assembled friends.  For fun, I've identified them by where I first met them (from back left):  South Arlington Mom's Club, ditto, ditto, next door neighbor, friend known longest in Virginia (who hosted a shower for baby Laurel!),  from my very first meeting of beloved book club, South Arlington Mom's Club, behind me is J, who I met first at Gymboree and who formed that playgroup (but who has walked alot of hills and drunk many a coffee and red wine with me too), church, and South Arlington Mom's Club. 

I wish I could bottle up the conversations I had.  From the spirited discussion of the various versions of Girl with a Dragon Tattoo and Hunger Games over lunch to kid and school talk, to all the sucesses and adventures we've had... It was at once like coming to a reunion and at the same time, walking back into a kitchen I'd been in a couple days before. 

I should have taken more photos, but I might have been too busy talking ;)  I wanted to include this one though, because although S wasn't able to be at the shower, she invited us (or maybe we invited ourselves?) to come visit her stunning and unique new house.  

S taught me one of the most important lessons I learned about stay-at-home mama-ing.  We met when L was not yet 5 months, and later that year, we were at a nature preserve.  The drive to it nearly unhinged me. And, there was S, talking about the pure bliss that allows one to be out with the babes on a perfect day, that traffic doesn't matter, and being late doesn't matter, because you just get to be there in the perfect day with that sweet baby you love, not missing anything.  

C (and her boys), and I had a good, long visit too... Fellow mama to three, figuring out the dynamics of a big girl and two boys, figuring out the work/life balance, unravelling a mystery or two kind of visit.  

And, to add icing on the cake, my friend M came down from Maryland to catch up to talk about books, and being on the same page, and why it all matters. 

How can I explain either here, or later to Attilla, the extremely generous spirits of these friends. For airport pick ups, for dessert, for meals shared, for confidences shared, for secret plans made, for coordinating and hosting, for cajoling Curtis and waiting for his answers, for a million little pieces of life, and being my friend even when I am crazy... 

I am overwhelmed with gratitude... and this was only the first part.  Hopefully, tomorrow, the second, also thrilling and full of friends with beautiful hearts. 

 

12 on the 12th (January)

[I have started writing the post about birthday surprises, but I didn't want to lose this in the shuffle... so, stay tuned on that, and other subjects.  I finished grading my finals, but I still have an over due contract job, and my blog (along with my world) are waiting for me... ]

1. (Sorry, terrible quality... Lesson:  Shoot more photos on the 12th, or check them after shooting them.  Ah well).  This is to show that it was 2 degrees around lunch time.  The wind chill was -19.  This was our first truly terrible cold morning this winter.  

2. So, I couldn't even get further than the window to go pick up the mail.  I knew C would come home and get it for me.  This proves that I am both wimpy and lazy. 

3. Neither L or J settled for a good nap/quiet time today.  But, I took one anyway, not a long one, but one that involved slippers, a blanket, the sunshine, and my work.  

4. Over Christmas, my dad and I worked on a massive re-organization of our garage entry and catch all closet.  It has never looked so good.  The hooks are for each child.  Their back pack and boots go on the floor, and the bags (color coded) are for their hats, mittens, and other outdoor gear.  With cloth bags, the heating vents still allow them to try.  I am embarassed to be so happy at how this is streamlining departure at my house.  It is though, as there is no looking for things, no tripping over boots, and more general harmony. 

5. As part of the surprise, we received a fancy pants car seat for (still un-named) Attila the Hunt. Someone else was borrowing it today.  So strange to think that we're down below eight weeks to arrival... but, if he surprises us, at least we can bring him home now, right? 

6. Kid lunch.  

7, 8, 9.  Said kids saw the camera out and started mugging for it.  Elijah has this hilarious pointy eyebrow, big eye thing he's doing now.  We all like to imitate it, even if our eyebrows lack the points.  Also, note the extreme haircut on Jonah... 

10. Paper from the day:  L and J's school papers, the notes from a panel discussion I facilitated, and the tickets we picked up for the story ballet of Alice in Wonderland.  I am so excited for the story ballet, and so excited to take L.  The scary parts of the story are made funny by the dancing.  Can't wait to see the Mad Tapper.  heh. 

11. L and J with Disney Headbandz game...  We actually received two versions of this game, and the Disney is harder.  We have yet to actually play the full game by all the rules, but if we simplify it, E can play too.  We've played by our rules almost every night for the past three weeks.  

12. We thought E could get this one on his own, as we love Woody around here.  He didn't, although he's really good at asking the questions we feed him: "Am I a cowboy?" "Do I have a cool theme song?"  "Am I from Toy Story?" "Am I a sherriff?"  E loves playing with the big kids... although he might be better at Zingo and Don't Break the Ice ;) 

[Want to join the 12 on the 12th fun?  Check Elizabeth's blog for details.  Of course you can start after the 12th.  If you read this blog, you know that I figure if you get your once a month goal done in the month for a whole year, that's success.  But, my ambition is to try to do better about being with in a few days... ]

Yes, I did arrive at that big number...

It's been quite an adventure, this turning 40, full of surprises ;)  Which, you might say has been the theme of the past year, and all indications are will continue to be true in the year ahead. 

You're not surprised that I am drinking milk, not some lovely adult beverage like decaf coffee with my decadant cake.  

And, you can giggle that someone posted on my Facebook that they won't be giving me the card that says, "It's better to be 40 than pregnant."  Heh. 

I will have to write about the other surprises though... tomorrow.   ;)  

5 (people) x 12 (months) x 12 (december, a completed project)

Curtis is tired ;)  December has been a challenging month, and there is so much to think about in the months ahead.  Sometimes our heads spin. 

I, thankfully, have new hair since this photo was taken.  In about 10 weeks, we'll have a new baby.  I have a hard time wrapping my mind around this.  No, he doesn't have a name yet. 

First ear infection of her life this month, threw up at school, took several days to regroup, and back to herself.  Six is a really fun, imaginative age. Her mind moves at light speed. 

Jonah loves the snow.  The fact that it has taken until December 30 to arrive is a source of sorrow to him, but he's going to really enjoy it now that it's here.  

And this one, he snuggles, sparkles, giggles, and chatters.  No one is more his favorite than his brother, and he is perfectly willing to imitate anything. 

xo